Define BUSY?

Some of us selalu cakap busy kerja la..busy meeting sampai petang..sampai kena bawak homework balik rumah... bla bla bla..anak..bla bla..rumah semak...

But my defination of busy..is beyond that..

I have a full time job..morning to evening...sometimes ada meeting...sometimes ada course until late evening...
I have to mark students final exam/test/drawing...i have to submit the portfolios for every class that i tought....mind you,the portfolios is so like a long documentation yang i dont think its necessary pun..but you have to do it..

My husband is away in Japan for i forget how long already..

My wiken is pack with my master class.
I got to study for the test and also for the final exam.I have to prepare for god knows how many assignment that i need to submit in a very short period of time.
Bila nak study?
Malam malam dah jadi macam zaman university dulu..tido pukul 4am just sbb nak siapkan assignmenty or nak study.Dulu boleh lah bangun lambat, ponteng class..now?gila ke..hari2 amik mc.

Ohh..i forget..despite all the long list above, i still need to be a momsie to my darling Mia..
i need to cook for her, i need to bath her, i need to feed her and i need to play with her..So ada lagi ke saki baki masa untuk diri sendiri?

Life been so hard to me recently.
I cant have the "me" time even for 10 min.
Dah tak de masa untuk gathering, attending birthday party, wedding and others..
Tensen..and iam so tired..really i am.

I really want to quit ..study?
Even tho i know im good at it..but im just tired..
Too tired already..
I need a helper..yes..i need a maid..

But will it it even settle the problems?
Or it will just add another problems in my life?

Yesterday, habisje my last paper for this semester..Terus balik rumah buat OP tidur with Mia.heheheh
We slept from 12.30pm-1.30pm..then my fren of mind, Ina come to visit me..she went back around 3pm.Suapkan Mia makan, bagi susu and i terus baring..and i think around 4pm kut kami anak beranak tidor sekali lagi..until 6.30pm..gagaga..nasib baik Mia memahami yang mommy kena ganti tidor yang dah lama tak cukup ni...


In october, i might need to attend course in German for 2weeks. As what many people will be so happy to go ..I'AM NOT.
In fact i dont know if i can go or not.I dont know how to leave my Mia alone with daddy.
I asked my hubby to come with me...
But the return flight tickets for Mia and daddy will be around RM9K
Macam tak worth it je nak spend that much for flight tickets kan..
I dont know..i just cant.Hati saya masih belum kering lagi untuk tinggalkan anak.
Dah banyak kali saya tolak course2 yang memerlukan saya untuk away from my baby..
Sampai satu tahap, dah segan dah nak tolak..haiyeeee cik siti..sulu bagi alasan anak kecik lagi..skang dah besar pun tak mampu lagi kah?