Tuesday, January 17, 2012

39th week

Fuhhh...fuhhh...last night 39th week checked up at KPMC..


Baby dah engaged!..


and sudah ada opening.


uwaaaaaaaaaaa...




But doc cakap, selagi tak sakit, opening tu didnt meant that im goin to deliver so soon.


Normal untuk second pregnancy.




I asked the doctor whether baby can wait until Saturday or not.


Doctor pun tak leh nak confirm.Kuasa Allah semuanya kan.




BUT,


Doc gave me 5days MC for this week.


She asked me to bed rest..


Duduk diam2..


And study atas katil for my last paper this coming Saturday.




Its so stressful.


Jadinya menangis..mengamuk secara tetiba.


I cannot control myself anymore.


Tetiba marah kat husband, sbb dia yang suruh sambung study dulu.


Tetiba marah kat Mia sebab dia tak boleh nak duduk diam.


Tetiba nangis depan PC.




Macam orang gilak.


But seriously i tell u its so stressful if ur guys in my shoes.


U want to study, but u afraid that maybe baby will come sooner.


So why waste the time to study?wakak..


Kan ke best just tidor golek2 atas katil.


Kan ke best bermalas malasan sambil tunggu "the day"




At the same time..u just cannot lazy'ing around.


Buatnya baby can wait.


Abistu sabtu nak jawab apa?


Owhhh..




Sometimes i hope baby can wait for my last paper.


So i can focus on him after that.


But in my dark moment yesterday..i just hope the baby come out pagi ni.


So tak payah susah2 nak fikir sempat ke tak sempat.




Iam tired of wondering of sempat/tak sempat everyday..


Its been 3weeks already,like this.


Iam just tired of waiting.


I lost my mojo to study.


Dah takde semangat rasanya.




But 30% in me is still ada otak nak fikir.


Still rasa if i give up now..it will be too wasteful for all the time that i should spend with Mia and Daddy.


Penat je i tinggalkan both of them on wiken..


Penat je my parents came over to my house to babysit Mia when daddy have to go to work on saturday.


But in the end..no good result.


Tak ke membazir.




Baiklah..sikit je lagi ..


Sikit je lagi..


5 more days baby..


U can do it..hold on tight..


Ok..saya dengar arahan doctor..bed rest dulu..


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..


Kejap2 lagi baru study on the bed..