Sunday, December 13, 2009

iam not a saint here.

This sms came ffrom collien...i off my hpfor 2days..and i just read these sms this morning.i really not in a mood to hear the sorry word from her..i just cant..im not a saint here ok..

"Yuda,so sori.aku tak sengaja.Aku ngaku sbb aku pegang Mia sebelah tangan kanan.Tgn kiri aku nak amik spek aku.Tangan kanan aku sempat tarik baju mia masa dia struggle ke kiri.Itu yg aku ingat.Bcoz it happens in a second.Takkan ada org sengaja jatuhkan baby kawan sendiri.Aku faham dan tak salahkan ko.Aku pun perasan ko mood swing td.Aku malu td nk blk sbb malu kat ko,tp xnak ruinksn event utk elina.So aku buat2 happy je.Aku tunggu ko maafkan aku je.

Tak perlu sepak terajang sbb ko takkan puas.Ko doa je pada Allah,bg balasan setimpal if aku btol2 sengaja.Doa ibu pasti makbul.Rasa bersalah aku ni pun sebenarnya satu balasan juga.sebab aku tetap akan rs bersalah sampai bila2 even ko maafkan.

FYI,aku ni br habis solat hajatmintak tenang hati ko n hope mia is safe sbb aku pun takleh tido.risau bersalah.Aku bukan nk tunjuk alim tp nk bagitau ko aku pun rs menda yg sama mcm ko.betapa bersalahnya aku rasa.

Memang aku tak sengaja n bersyukur mia is safe n takde cedera yg teruk. if ko nk jumpa aku n nk luahkan wateva xpuas hati ko,aku boleh jumpa bila2.maybe cara lain is to bring mia to see a doctor.aku boleh teman n everything on me pun takpe.Asalkan ko boleh rs legasikit.Aku pun risau bila ko risau..To yuda n all iam really sory"

This sms pula came from my bestie Anirah..who witness that incident..

"Yuda sabar,u have the rite to feel angry n sad. Iam with you on dat. kalau aku di tempat ko,aku lg emo tp i do believe it was an honest mistake eventho it may due to carelessness.so try to forgive her k.kiss to mis..sleep tite..i lov u"

Sms'es below pula came from bride to be Elina

"Dahlah tu,aku faham.chill ok.esok lusa ko cool down sketlah.memangla anak ko,but ko kena understand,budak2 kecik ni standardla jatuh2 ok.chil chil chil..love u babe"

"My dearest Yuda girls,jangan sedih sgt.budak2 kecik ni standard la jatuh.im sure collien tak sengaja.If it hurts you that much,perhaps collien can teman ko utk check up mia.aku pun leh teman sekali,tadahal.but aku dh ckp dengan Ar td,dia kata no big deal.Maybe Ar boleh tolong"

"Morning babe,how r u feeling ? ok sket?aku dah tanya Ar mlm td.Mia ok tak?Dia kata if Mia non stop crying,xboleh gerak tgn or kaki,or tetiba inactive br kita suspect something.otherwise mia should be ok..Ko ada detect apa2 kat Mia today?

OK..I didnt reply to any of those sms'es..reason?malas..none of them above were married..so wats the point telling them how i feel..they wont understand..
firt i knoe budak2 mmg standard jatuh..i can accept if mia jatuh sendiri..dia guling2 atas katil n accidently jatuh..or dia merangkak2..then tetiba tersembam kat depan..that i can understand..tapi bila ingat,atas pangkuan kawan sendiri dia jatuh..argggghhh..how can i forgive n forget?i really cant ..im not a saint here ok..saya bukan malaikat yang boleh memaafkan orang

I will take time..n i dont know how long i need to forgive her tak sengaja itu..iam not in the mood to talk to her...n not in the mood either to see her face..coz i noe me..iam a very soft hearted persn..and im not a mean person...i make a post about this not to embarassed anyone..it just sumtin that i need to share with someone..i cant share with EL..coz he alwiz ask me to forgive n forget..i just hate it what he say so...

15 comments:

  1. sian u..n i pity dat girl oso. im sure dia x sengaja. dh bwk mia jmpe doc..?

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  2. Yuda,

    Sedihnya bila dpt tau Mia jatuh in Collien's hands. Harap2 Mia ok. Dah bawak jumpa paed ke? Aku faham perasaan ko. Dari experience aku, maid aku pernah terlepas pandang sampai anak sulung aku terjatuh dan benjol kat dahi. Memang aku dan hubby marah sgt sampai maki-hamun maid aku. tp akhirnya, aku rasa I have to let the mad feelings go off and head on with my life. Yes, it was a terrible nightmare thinking how did my child jatuh? but, aku sentiasa beringat yg kita ni cuma manusia biasa. tak lepas dari membuat mistakes. thereafter, me and my hubby selalu remind our maid supaya jgn leka, jgn tengok tv, pls layan budak2 and so on... and she complies.

    aku faham. this is your baby that we are talking about. no one has the right to put your child's life at a stake. lps ni, kita mungkin kena lebih berhati-hati esp when it comes to our chidren's safety.

    hugs and kisses to baby mia yg makin hari makin comel tu.. take care

    -Syiq-

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  3. sbg ibu, aku paham perasaan ko. u have every right to be mad at her.

    sbg seorg kwn yg kenal both of you, aku yakin die x sengaje.

    sbg seorg insan, sume org buat silap, then again kesilapan itu dtg dr kelemahan kite sendiri.

    aku hope sumenye ok.. yg penting kesihatan dan keselamatan mia.

    take care yuda & mia.

    -ibu Mawaddah-

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  4. i faham perasaan u, sbb adam pernah terjatuh sbb i careless.. dia baru nk belajar berdiri, n i terpandang kat tempat lain.. tetiba dia dh jatuh, n bunyi tu sgt2 kuat.. mmg i takut gile.. n terus bwk p jumpa doctor.. alhamdulillah dia ok

    berhari2 jugak i nanges n say sorry to him.. tp dia kecik lg kan.. nak ckp sakit pun belum pandai apa lg utk maaf kan i..

    sabar ek dear..

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  5. siti...everyone will understand y ur still mad at her.uve every right to be.although dia mesti xfaham tp nnti bila dia ada anak sendiri mesti dia faham.sedihnyeeee i...u pg naik cruise jadi mcm tu plak kan...nasib baik i xbawak rafiq hari tu...klo x agaknya i yg terlepas kan dia.bahaya jugak.lagila i wont forgive myself.will pray for Mia.insyaAllah she will be fine.sabar k...i feel u mommy

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  6. Yuda,
    Sabar banyak2. Yes it hurts when it happens in front of your eyes, and the one holding Mia pon member baik sendiri. Aku faham sangat perasaan ko now ni. Mia kan buah hati pengarang jantung, of course ko marah.

    The most important thing is, Mia sihat dan selamat. I don't know about others, but if I am around I make sure my baby is with me all the time. Handle by me or hubby, not others especially yg kurang experience dgn baby.

    Take care ok. :)

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  7. gosh! hope things like this wont happen again. next time pls becareful, dont simply give ur baby utk didukong with someone yg xpenah ada anak. bcoz she wont be as careful as we are to handle babies. but i believe kwn u xsengaja. if mia is okay, nothing seriously injured ke ape..if i were u, i will forgive ur frens. dr sms yg dia bg pn, dia rasa bersalah n menyesal bcoz she was careless. u just take ur time nk maafkan dia, i knw how u feel as a mother..

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  8. sian mia..tp ur fren xsengaja tu..

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  9. Okay, begini la.

    I pernah rasa even lagi teruk, masa lahirkan Anis pihak DEMC/Dr. yang sambut kan Anis tak bagi tau I berlaku kecuaian atau kemalangan atau sengaja (mmg ada procedure patahkan tulang bahu kalo tersekat) tulang bahu patah. Rasa marah yang melampau.

    Tapi ada seorang yang I tak ingat sapa bagi tau. Kemalangan yang kecil selalunya melindungi pekara yang lebih besar dan buruk. Kalo tulang tak patah itu hari , mana tau anak I lemas ke, lagi banyak complication.

    Okeh. Berbalik pada insiden dengan collien tuh. Take ur time to forgive her, pada masa yang sama ingat dalam 5 minit-8 minit kemalangan tuh, mungkin Allah menlindung baby tu daripada kemalangan yang lebih besar.

    Dari situ kita bersyukurlah.

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  10. hi kak siti. i'm sorry to know about this. mia must hv hurt quite a lot from the fall. alhamdulillah, she's ok. i totally understand how it feels watching other people hold your baby. lea sampai sekarang still hesitant to let others hold nia. mcm ada hari tu, an acquantaince of mine tak pegang kepala nia betul2. nia tak kuat lagi kepala dia masa tu. and that person calls herself an obstetrician! what a bragger. padahal tak abis study lagi. haihhh. they jst don't understand our feelings as a mother. hmm.. tapi i'm sure ada hikmah di sebalik semua ni. and i know u'll eventually forgive your fren tu. cos ur a nice lady and soft hearted inside. take care.

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  11. salam singgah...Damia, sama nama ngan my 1st daughter...he he

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  12. memang susah nk memaafkan org...take your time..all things happened for a reason..maybe your friend xsengaja..lgpn mia ok kn?i sendiri aritu bengang gak kt ank sedara sbb xsengaja wtkn sara tesembam kt lantai sampai lebam dahinya almost 1week++(masa tu sara lbh kurang mia la,6month++)...bkn org lain tu, ank sedara sendiri lg...masa tu dia nk pakaikn baju kt sara n sara lak ngamuk tanak diam..n lagila xde pn say sorry to me...mmg i mrh but ye la sampai bila nk mrhkn...lgpn i tgk sara pn xde pape...so,its up to u nk maafkn dia/tak...but jgnla simpn dlm hati, kita juga xtenang nanti..ok?

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  13. i tak tau nak komen apa beb sebab i pun pernah kene macam u. tp ni maid yg jatuh kan wafiq. depan mata. rase bersalah sebab pass wafiq kat maid. wafiq menangis non stop. betui la i tak tak camne nak maafkan die!! i paham camne ur feeling. itu anak kite. geram sume ade!!

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  14. aku baru perasan aku tak komen lagi kat entry ko nih. aku dah baca dah actually, but i think masa tuh aku pun still trauma lagi utk komen apa2.

    sorry babe, i don't mean to tone down the situation by my sms to u. just want u to cool down, and don't be too hard on urself. aku tau ko disappointed, but things happen for a reason kan? maybe it is just a test from Allah, to remind you to be careful ke. kita tak tau kan?

    but all in all, sorry again for trying to undermine ur feelings. aku takda anak lagi, betul. but i have 5 nieces and nephews from my sis and bro. aku totally understand, because whenever aku pegang anak2 buah aku pun, aku tatang derang cam anak aku sendiri. if aku pegang mia, esp masa aku visit masa dia baru lahir tuh kan, ko pun tengok betapa careful aku pegang dia. maybe in that situation, collien tak terfikir to be extra careful in holding mia.

    takpalah, let bygones be bygones. i know it's difficult for you to forgive her, but it's true: time heals all wounds. hopefully u can find it in ur heart to forgive her later okay?

    aku rindu nak gossip ngan ko....nnt aku datang melawat ko ye. :)

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