iam not a saint here.

This sms came ffrom collien...i off my hpfor 2days..and i just read these sms this morning.i really not in a mood to hear the sorry word from her..i just cant..im not a saint here ok..

"Yuda,so sori.aku tak sengaja.Aku ngaku sbb aku pegang Mia sebelah tangan kanan.Tgn kiri aku nak amik spek aku.Tangan kanan aku sempat tarik baju mia masa dia struggle ke kiri.Itu yg aku ingat.Bcoz it happens in a second.Takkan ada org sengaja jatuhkan baby kawan sendiri.Aku faham dan tak salahkan ko.Aku pun perasan ko mood swing td.Aku malu td nk blk sbb malu kat ko,tp xnak ruinksn event utk elina.So aku buat2 happy je.Aku tunggu ko maafkan aku je.

Tak perlu sepak terajang sbb ko takkan puas.Ko doa je pada Allah,bg balasan setimpal if aku btol2 sengaja.Doa ibu pasti makbul.Rasa bersalah aku ni pun sebenarnya satu balasan juga.sebab aku tetap akan rs bersalah sampai bila2 even ko maafkan.

FYI,aku ni br habis solat hajatmintak tenang hati ko n hope mia is safe sbb aku pun takleh tido.risau bersalah.Aku bukan nk tunjuk alim tp nk bagitau ko aku pun rs menda yg sama mcm ko.betapa bersalahnya aku rasa.

Memang aku tak sengaja n bersyukur mia is safe n takde cedera yg teruk. if ko nk jumpa aku n nk luahkan wateva xpuas hati ko,aku boleh jumpa bila2.maybe cara lain is to bring mia to see a doctor.aku boleh teman n everything on me pun takpe.Asalkan ko boleh rs legasikit.Aku pun risau bila ko risau..To yuda n all iam really sory"

This sms pula came from my bestie Anirah..who witness that incident..

"Yuda sabar,u have the rite to feel angry n sad. Iam with you on dat. kalau aku di tempat ko,aku lg emo tp i do believe it was an honest mistake eventho it may due to carelessness.so try to forgive her k.kiss to mis..sleep tite..i lov u"

Sms'es below pula came from bride to be Elina

"Dahlah tu,aku faham.chill ok.esok lusa ko cool down sketlah.memangla anak ko,but ko kena understand,budak2 kecik ni standardla jatuh2 ok.chil chil chil..love u babe"

"My dearest Yuda girls,jangan sedih sgt.budak2 kecik ni standard la jatuh.im sure collien tak sengaja.If it hurts you that much,perhaps collien can teman ko utk check up mia.aku pun leh teman sekali,tadahal.but aku dh ckp dengan Ar td,dia kata no big deal.Maybe Ar boleh tolong"

"Morning babe,how r u feeling ? ok sket?aku dah tanya Ar mlm td.Mia ok tak?Dia kata if Mia non stop crying,xboleh gerak tgn or kaki,or tetiba inactive br kita suspect something.otherwise mia should be ok..Ko ada detect apa2 kat Mia today?

OK..I didnt reply to any of those sms'es..reason?malas..none of them above were married..so wats the point telling them how i feel..they wont understand..
firt i knoe budak2 mmg standard jatuh..i can accept if mia jatuh sendiri..dia guling2 atas katil n accidently jatuh..or dia merangkak2..then tetiba tersembam kat depan..that i can understand..tapi bila ingat,atas pangkuan kawan sendiri dia jatuh..argggghhh..how can i forgive n forget?i really cant ..im not a saint here ok..saya bukan malaikat yang boleh memaafkan orang

I will take time..n i dont know how long i need to forgive her tak sengaja itu..iam not in the mood to talk to her...n not in the mood either to see her face..coz i noe me..iam a very soft hearted persn..and im not a mean person...i make a post about this not to embarassed anyone..it just sumtin that i need to share with someone..i cant share with EL..coz he alwiz ask me to forgive n forget..i just hate it what he say so...